Yeah Yeah Yeah Lord it's not my will it's yours Sacrifice is a lesser choice Obedience is what you want from me I'ma hold your hand while you're using me I could almost see my heartbeat When you spoke to me transparency Yeah When you spoke My transparency I'm like Lord What more do you want from me If they're looking then they gon see Making public my privacy You got me sharing things I barely gave to thee Yeah They say timing Is everything I guess your watch is saying that it's time for me I guess your watch is saying that it's time for me Revealing what I've been covering Digging up this stuff when I buried it Said anytime It gets too heavy Just toss it to you, and you'll carry it Thank you Lord I'm one so many be leaning on Wet shoulders They been crying on You the reason why I'm still holding on So I keep on moving Keep on going I keep on standing or we all gone Yeah I gotta keep on standing or we all gone we all gone And for so long I've been watching what I've been speaking Now you got me saying things I've been thinking You opened me up Your laid me bare Getting touchy with all these feelings, Lord Yeah You getting touchy with all these feelings Yeah It's giving up that is so easy I don't quit You're working in me You're my strength and you've got plenty You see my end though I'm not finished You say it's time To get my healing You opened these wounds now my guts spilling I trust you Lord and trust your reasons Yeah Yeah I trust you Lord and trust your reasons Yeah I trust you Lord and I trust your reasons You're the master with the key Unlocking doors so they can peek Made it very clear to see This is my transparency Yeah Yeah Lord it's thee who holds the key Unchaining me to make me free Unchaining me to make me free Yeah You made it clear for me to see This is my transparency This is my transparency Yeah Lord it's thee who holds the key Unchaining me to make me free Unchaining me to make me free Yeah You're the one who holds the key Yeah Unchaining me to make me free Yeah You made it very clear to me This is my transparency This is my transparency Yeah You're the one who holds the key Unchaining me to make me free Yeah You made it clear for me to see This is my transparency

Yeah Yeah See, her name was Anna Except for pics I never knew much A sensitive spot Nobody wanted to touch She wasn't spoken of much Only on occasion And I've been here on stand by And I'm still waitin Life's barely getting started and you're already gone Baby sis is in pampers and I'm only one My whole life I done missed ya I don't even own one picture But I know I see your face When I'm looking at my sister Heard you was intelligent Somewhat mild-temperament A great sense of humor And Gifted on an instrument Your birthday's on the 3rd day of a New Year Your eyes brown and wide and it's obvious they're A gift to Lil sis and it's beautifully clear She's got the same sense of humor I pray it'll always be there And me, I inherited your deep tone your melanin Played Piano by ear Now I'm artistically creative And this is DNA you passed onto me Your grandchildren And even great-grandbabies If you were only here If only God had saw different Then you would be around To see your bloodline Your lineage I Find myself wondering whatcha would've become A classical musician Or a stay home mom Either way, it's ok mom whichever the one Would've still been all love If none of the above Yeah Either way, it's ok mom whichever the one Would have still have been all love If none of the above Yeah Anna's Blues Dedicated to my mother, Anna Jean Evans Who God allowed to grace this world with her presence for 16 years See, I call this piece Anna's Blues Because I spent nearly half of my life mourning my mother How could I mourn someone I couldn't have possibly known Right I was only 1 year old A toddler Well, nevertheless that didn't negate That her absence from my life Was so deeply felt Until God spoke to me on one Mother's Day Saying I was so focused on what I didn't have That I was missing out on what I do have My children See, they were unable to truly celebrate me on Mother's Day Because I had the blues I was mourning my mother every single Mother's Day And So Me mourning my mother's absence Ended that day Yeah Her name was Anna

Yeah Yeah can I be honest Yeah My transparency Can I be honest Truthfully I didn’t wanna write my transparency Father God says it’s time Time to deliver some Deliver some While gettin the healing that I need Yeah Yeah see God decided to go beneath Some things I thought I was over Now he’s breaking up this ground I’ve been shoveling over I was pleasingly balanced Or gave the appearance there of See I already admitted I got some issues with trust She was just a Lil girl Inappropriately touched Who’d later struggle with discomfort Giving her children a hug At the time only nine Feeling dirty all the time Magic bubbles ain’t enough To make her clean this time She had a troubled mind Yeah Still she kept it to herself Cuz the adults she loved the most She did her best to protect So she would go through adolescence Thinking love means sexing Irregular attention She’s grown a custom to getting Now you see this young girl Who’s just so angry at the world Don’t you cross her If you cross her She gon give you what for A young woman who gave love So real and genuine In return received none Cuz his was counterfeit A broken heart barely beating Fragmented in pieces No patchwork no stitches I needed God to mend it Yeah Yeah No patchwork no stitches I needed God And he mended it Can I be honest Yeah Yeah Yeah Can I be honest Yeah Yeah Yeah y’all tell me Can I be honest Yeah Cuz I didn’t wanna write my transparency So Can I be honest Yeah And get the healing that I really need Can I be honest My transparency Can I be honest Yeah

Yeah My pen my pad Yeah Quiet chocolate girl In bobby socks Brown eyes A crayola box Yeah In a dark world You her bright spot Yeah Yeah Picture books and drawings Storytelling is talking Dear diary starts Inscription Details without a description To you I pen my secrets Cuz I know that you gon keep it Write something Erase it Still on you I left an impression Mama’s gone Missing dad It’s all I had Yeah My pen my pad Feeling bad It’s my outlet Yeah Yeah My pen my pad Mama’s gone Missing dad It’s all I had Yeah My pen my pad Feeling bad It’s my outlet Yeah Yeah Some words I can not speak spill em out thru the ink Jot and scribble Yeah As I think Note the thoughts In my mind Got blotches on my pages why Yeah Cuz my pen cries Short stories no tall tales Nonfiction Truth prevails These Emo’s Like Post it notes At times it’s hard To let em go I Find Hope In the antidote I turn to these bible quotes Read myself some scripture Then I grab my pencil Mama’s gone Missing dad It’s all I had Yeah My pen my pad Feeling bad It’s my outlet Yeah Yeah My pen my pad Mama’s gone Missing dad It’s all I had Yeah My pen my pad Feeling bad It’s my outlet Yeah Yeah Look thru my notebook From permanent mark to mechanical Unbind on ruled lines Rough drafts of my mental notes Unheard spoken words I sketch the hurt in free verse This sonnet They ain’t heard it yet It’s a new sound and I’m etching it Gel pen to suppress it This fountain just gon let it flow My ballpoint is onto something Ideas float on aqua notes You’re significant Therapeutic God gave it And then he used it I’m awake Up late My ink’s gotta date with paper mate Mama’s gone Missing dad It’s all I had Yeah My pen my pad Feeling bad It’s my outlet Yeah Yeah My pen my pad Mama’s gone Missing dad It’s all I had Yeah My pen my pad Feeling bad It’s my outlet Yeah Yeah My pen my pad Yeah Yeah Yeah My pen my pad Yeah Yeah Yeah It’s all I had Yeah Yeah Yeah My pen my pad Yeah Yeah Yeah My pen my pad

Yeah Yeah See There was no mold to break After God created me Fearfully and wonderfully He made me unique He gave me these big brown eyes Inserted this gap in my teeth Spoken words on my tongue Even before I could speak When I was only one my loving mommy dies Picked up a pen and pad at the age of nine And in the middle of night I begin to write I miss you mom Letters into rhymes Heartbroken child who cried so many nights And this went on and on into adult life And for so many years I was asking why But with no reply Nah With No reply In grade school one of those who follow rules And I was always getting picked on for what I do In the crowd nah I don't ever fit Isolated yeah I was separate It's junior high yeah and I chose to hide And truthfully there's so many reasons why Praying, God please just get me through this day And keep this little lamb from becoming prey And all the teachers said I should just ignore Yeah stick and stones They breaking bones But for some reason they don't seem to realize These words they be cutting me to my core I'm 17 And I'ma mother now And I gotta do this all on my own somehow Yeah he was there And said he cared But now He don't wanna claim his child My insecurities high And my esteem is down Mixed with self conscious And some self doubt God I really do I need Your help now My God please I really need your help now Some encouraging words From my granny's mouth She told me That I am not to worry bout See I'm unique I'm a different piece One of a kind Meant to stand out Now young adult And I'm so filled with anger And I got me Some real trust issues You get too close And I proceed with caution Cuz all I'm seeing Is the danger in it Now I got a clouded mind With a tainted view And just so many probs With no solu Been calling you But I can't get through Lord, I've been calling you Yeah But I can't get through Then Life got real When I got ill It was 15 years Before I got healed Most my years Yeah They was filled with struggle It was pay my tithes Or either pay my bills Being tested yeah Now that's for every man Lord your thoughts are good With a hopeful plan I can not lean on mine And try to understand Nah I can not lean on mine And try to understand Year two thousand One and nine Lord your message came And it was right on time Said it served a purpose There was no mistakes And it was all By design

Yeah If I could change just one thing Yeah If I could change just one thing Yeah If I could change just one thing Yeah If I could change just one thing Lord Wouldn't have lived a life full of sinfulness Proud, unashamed of my filthiness If I could change just one thing Yeah Wouldn't been in the club half dressed Gettin high, drinking, being a hot mess If I could change just one thing Yeah Would not engaged in unmarital sex I would've waited till I wed to have kids If I could change just one thing Yeah I would've known what a gift a child is And not aborted one of my kids If I could change just one thing Yeah If I could change just one thing Lord Soon as I got that call from Jesus I would've answered then and said yes If I could change just one thing Yeah Would've got saved sooner than I did Fell on my knees and repent If I could change just one thing Yeah I wouldn't have lived like you're not up there I would've changed my life swear If I could change just one thing Lord I would've gave my life to You Christ Mistakes I made once I would've made twice If I could change just one thing Yeah I wouldn't bonded myself up again Once you freed from my chains If I could change just one thing Yeah I wouldn't had myself a foul mouth Fussing cussing all up in my house If I could change just one thing Yeah I wouldn't let my anger get ahold of me And done a lot of stupid things intentionally If I could change just one thing Yeah I wouldn't of put my freedom at risk When I was tryna be a street pharmacist If I could change just one thing Lord Wouldn't done a whole lotta shameful things If I could change just one thing Yeah If I could change just one thing Yeah Wouldn't have lived a life full of sinfulness Would've gotten saved sooner than I did I would've fallen on my knees and repent If I could change just one thing Yeah Mistakes I made once I wouldn't have made twice Would've given my life to you Christ If I could change just one thing Yeah I wouldn't have lived like you weren't up there If I could change just one thing Yeah I would've changed my life swear If I could change just one thing One Thing If I could change one thing

Yeah Uh huh Yeah Yeah Uh huh You know Sometimes when I go through it I just keep it to myself Quiet as it's kept I don't tell anybody else I just tell the one And that's the one who can help Sometimes this walking don't add up Tho I calculate my steps God Your approach is never casually Purposeful when you speak to me Lift my head when my heart's heavy You always know what to say to me When I'm second guessing I delay my blessing You said just put all my trust in you And it'll stop all my stressing Although, you don't have to do it God, your faithfulness, you prove it God I'm giving you my mind Otherwise, I just might lose it Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Even words unspoken You hear what I'm not speaking My mind to you is like an open book You always read my thinking My thoughts, they overwhelm me My God the things that you have seen Please, renew my mind Renew my mind daily Please Father God I need you No good off in my flesh This natural man has limitations Spirit be my help Pick me up when I fall down Fill me up when I run out Although my countenance fallen down Still walk with me Though I'm crawling now My heart, it condemn me But my God you are greater My God you gave me Jesus Cuz I needed me a savior God you've known my ending From the very start Faithfully mends my brokenness Every time I fall apart Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Pick me up when I fall down Fill me up when I run out Yeah Uh huh Pick me up when I fall down Fill me up when I run out Yeah Uh huh Father God I need you No good off in my flesh This natural man has limitations Spirit be my help Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh God you've known my ending Right from the very start Faithfully mends my brokenness Every time I fall apart Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Pick me up when I fall down Fill me up when I run out Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Father God I need you No good off in my flesh This natural man has limitations Spirit be my help Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh God you've known my ending Right from the very start Faithfully mends my brokenness Every time I fall apart Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Father God I need you No good off in my flesh Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Yeah Uh huh Pick me up when I fall down Fill me up when I run out

Yeah They say Why did I fall in love with Thee Cuz you first, fell in love with me You graciously gave this gift to me Inspires my soul, creatively My poetry, it flows right to Thee You pour it right back onto me That's why I named my style floetry That's why I named my style floetry Refocusing my vision all the time Really can't see where I'm going But you've always been my guide My Guide You've always been here next to me Truly believed when you said to me You're never ever gonna leave That's definitely Eternity You breathed life into me I was dead sin you revived me Trespasses had me chained indeed You, righteous Judge, released me Now I'm living life a free being Yeah Now I'm living life a free being Yeah I be bout to fall apart While these folks thinking I got together I just picture you holding me, Lord While I'm reading all your love letters Your love letters Yeah Yeah They're the ones that's been keeping me Reminding me what you promised me Your word is true And it's gonna do what you send it to Yeah Your word is true It's gonna do what you send it to This picture of being the strong one Kinda puts me on the spot Filters an unreal image While I'm going thru a lot There's no one left to tell Lord You're all that I've got There's no one left to tell Lord You're all that I've got See, you're the only reason why I'm here Ain't mastered 100 percent But I'm learning to conquer my fears My fears See, this is why I praise you like I do Holding your hand, cuz you pull me through I keep holding your hand cuz you pull me through See, I'm messed up Sure enough When I fall down you lift me up Whenever I feel like giving up Your presence's there with a loving hug With Loving hug Yeah Yeah Whenever I feel like giving up Your presence's there with a loving hug You breathed life into me Without you I would be deceased Not speaking metaphorically Saying physically and spiritually Refocusing my vision all the time I really can't see where I'm going But you've always been my guide My Guide You've always been here next to me I truly believed when you said to me You're never, ever gone leave me That's definitely eternity Eternity You breathe life into me You breathe life into me And that's definitely eternity Eternity Yeah Yeah That's definitely eternity Eternity Cuz, you're the only reason why I'm here Ain't mastered this 100 percent But I'm learning to conquer my fears My fears Cuz, you breathe life into me Yeah And that's definitely eternity Eternity Cuz you breathe life into me Yeah Yeah You breathe life into me

Yeah Yeah It's hard when you tryna depart from something That holds a piece of your heart It's got its hooks in you It tugs on you Tryna pull you back in the dark So I slipped Then I fell Feel the heat This is hell As my soul is yelling timber All of a sudden I can remember Your breath's in me You bled for me Of the body, I am a member The spirit is no longer muted I can hear it quoting the scriptures Lord, I feel like such a disgrace Tell me, Lord Is it too late Can I still obtain your grace Can I still obtain your grace, Lord I fall on my face I cry and I pray Fall on my face I cry and I pray Fall on my face I cry and I pray Fall on my face I cry and I pray Begging for your forgiveness I know your word Promise to give it But, I don't feel like I deserve it Nah My heart is heavy God And now I cannot move This burden weighs me down And now I cannot move This burden weighs me down This guilt is lasting So I turn to fasting And then your word It spoke to me And here's what happened Yeah And then your word, it spoke to me And here's what happened I am reminded You are faithful and just to forgive Please Keep me from deliberate sin I am reminded When I confess You cleanse me You cleanse me from all unrighteousness I am reminded I can be in perfect peace If My mind stays on Thee I am reminded that I can live free Free from guilt And that you'll carry my heavy load And I I will be comforted I am reminded That you are a loving compassionate savior And as much as I know me Lord You You know me better And whenever my heart condemns me My God My God, you are greater Yeah As much as my heart condemns me God You are greater

Somebody's Baby See I believe I believe everybody needs to be somebody's baby Ok I'll elaborate I'm talking about that person That one person you have a special bond with That person you can talk to concerning anything And without saying so It always stays just between you and them   They're your confidant Your rock No if, and but's or maybe's And you You You're their baby Well That was my granny with me Me little granny I called her affectionately When I was a young And my granny had to spank me Oh, I mean discipline me Afterwards she'd say Come on, let's eat some Ice cream Yeah My granny, she was sweet to me Once an adult Daily on the phone, we talked Being silly and Laughing, laughing And Laughing Granny's laugh I often reminisce about it So full delight Rejoicing and triumph Oh how I miss it I miss her I miss her 30 day vacay visits Our conversations Rather on the phone or in person Customarily consisted Of granny singing Me doing poetry readings Heart to hearts Sharing things I've never shared with another human being Yeah I could tell granny absolutely anything Although Granny, always seemed to know When I needed her most Even when I kept it to myself I'd be going through something And I'd receive a random call out of nowhere Granny asking Are you alright And, I couldn't lie So I'd spill my guts and began to cry Granny'd immediately pray Afterward, she'd chuckle Her comforting, faith filled, it's already alright chuckle Then say The Master's got it all under control It's gon be ok I'd wait on me little granny hand and foot She'd get a kick out of it Even tho she'd say not to make a fuss I'd say Granny, you're a queen And should be treated as such  Granny'd smile She'd take my hands and say Look here I know you love me because you put it on display She'd say We've got something special I knew Still nice to hear it tho Yeah, me and granny were extremely close And so, the day I received the call that My granny was seriously ill and may pass away in a day or so It literally felt like my world was crashing around me My heart In so much pain I I couldn't breathe  I couldn't even begin to imagine my world without Me little granny Probably why God didn't take her that year  However He did call her home the following Although, it still hurt I was able to handle it a little bit better Me little granny's been gone for 7 years now And It hasn't been easy Going through my everyday life without her And Not a day goes by that I don't think of her Especially whenever something exciting Or wonderful happens It hurts to know I can't call her With granny gone It feels like I'm nobody's baby now But then I'm reminded that I'm a child of God And so, I'm actually still somebody's baby The Heavenly Father's  For as much as my granny loved me And oh how she did love me My Heavenly Father loves me more And I know he didn't Take me little granny to purposely cause me pain In fact He loved granny also so he ended her's  He loves you too Never forget Even though that loved one To whom You were extremely close to isn't here anymore You're still somebody's baby God's Somebody's Baby Dedicated to Me little granny  Darthel Hamilton I love you

Yeah I always wondered what I'd say to you And now that I've had time to think Dear Lil me Yeah Dear Lil me It's the one that you're gonna be The fight will be on Beginning day one You came in this world Gasping and wheezing Struggling for air You were fighting to breathe in You were fighting to breathe in You were fighting to breathe then You were fighting to breathe You were fighting Just begun God put that fight in you For some things Life had in store for you Dear Lil me Satan schemes Wicked men Nightmares After your dreams Dear Lil me You'll get discouraged Brokenhearted God'll be there I promise He'll mend the pieces Yeah Every time You fall apart And Dear Lil me Can I be honest You'll have trust issues and problems And do some things That'll cause you dishonor So grateful to heavenly father He covered you Yeah Yeah He covered his daughter Dear Lil me Yeah Dear Lil me I know you've been wronged You're feeling alone Trust me God never leaves He's given you strength You need to hold on Dear Lil me I know that you cry You're wondering why It's gon be alright One day you'll see God's creating this me Dear Lil me You'll go through some things Get knocked to your knees Where you need to be Seeking your maker Your Lord and your Savior Dear Lil me You'll miss your mom Sing Anna's blues Somebody's baby He took the one But he left you two Dear Lil me Don't lose your hope God hid a seed Your thoughts into rhymes A way you can cope A pen and a pad It's all by design Dear Lil me One thing God's word you'll need Breathe life into me Well you You know what I mean Just wait and you'll see Yeah Yeah Dear Lil me Yeah Dear Lil me Yeah Dear Lil me Wait and you'll see Dear Lil me Sincerely, yours truly Dear Lil me Just wait and you'll see

I Dip my Feather into this ink Staring Staring into empty spaces For so many ages I have Applied to these pages Time after time after time after time As I'm Letting it soak between lines Sink I am noticing Many are not truly focusing So, much can be missed Blink Still I am hoping Hoping Hoping My thoughts My thoughts will make you think Still, I am hoping My thoughts will make you think My transparency What you don't see My humanity